Maddie-isms

She is funny, this girl.

As I was taking her into her room for bedtime tonight, I told her " You are such a good girl, Maddie Pie"

She hugged me hard and said " You're such a good mommy, Mommy-pie"

I have friends in real life

Really I do. I feel compelled to mention that because everytime I write about one of my 'online' friends, or people whose blogs I read- I feel just a little bit like a loser- like I spend all my time getting emotionally involved in the lives of people whom most likey I will never meet. I can't help it though, I am an emotional person. My husband does not understand why I get so upset about people who I 'don't even know.' I disagree. I DO know them. Probably better than some of my real life friends. When you write, you reveal in words things that would take a much longer time to come out in real life.
Emilie's blog is one I have followed for quite some time. She has a 2 year old and a 7 month old. She was diagnosed with a soft tissue sarcoma while pregnant with her second, and has been undergoing all sorts of treatments. The prognosis was not good. You see where this is going, right? http://lemmondrops.blogspot.com/
One of the things that happens when you follow a story like this online is that it becomes kind of like reading a book or watching a movie. You see only what they show you. But because you read their thoughts, you know so much more than what any movie would tell you. You get , well, at least I get emotionally involved.
When Emilie wrote ( he second to last post- actually her last , as her husband wrote the last one) that she was entering home hospice, you don't know to brace yourself for what comes next. I think thats why when I read she had passed away, it was like being punched in the stomach. It hit me hard. And as a mother, forget it, I can't even imagine what it must feel like to know on some level you will not be there to watch your children grow up. That you will never hear their laughter again. That they might not remember you, the way you read to them every night, or how you kissed them every morning. The little Mommy Traditions: things that are important for you as a mother to do for your children( new PJs every Christmas eve, balloons in their room on every birthday morning)
What is it like for a father to explain to a 2 year old that mommy is gone ? I just can't even bring my mind or heart to imagine that.

some pictures

Maddie and her BFF Gianna making( and eating) a gingerbread house ( she wants to make one of these every. day now)

Our snowman ! He came out awesome, didn't he?

Enjoying her very first cup of hot chocolate. No surprise that she is a fan.

We got about 5 inches of snow and its still flurrying out right now.

There are so many captions for this picture...

" Nothing says " I've been good " like flipping Santa the Bird"

" I said I want a Dora doll, Big Guy. Make it happen"

" You're not going to get that Dora doll with that attitude, young lady"

I could go on ad on.

and look at Santa, he looks mad !

This was Saturday morning, at a local restaurant- Milk and Cookies with Santa. He's a good santa too, don't you think ? I had to cut myself out of the picture- my goofy smile detracted from the real shot of Maddie giving Santa the finger.

quick- before i forget...

I cleaned out Madeline's toy room to make room for the certain onslaught of new toys she'll get for Xmas. So she walked in there this morning looked around and said- really annoyed " Heeeeeey, where'd all my toys go?"
Then i was trying on a Christmas dress on her. I had to figure out ho to open it with the bow in the back and said to myself " How does this work?" and Maddie said ' Mommy, this doesn't have berries" ( berries are 'batteries')
I love her.

SNOW!!!

If you know me, you know I love snow. And all my life I have lived in an area where it does not snow. It gets cold here sure, and some areas get snow, but we were always in the pocket that didn't get any. Well, a 15 minute move to the north changed all that. So the other day when 3 blocks south of me got no snow at all, we got about an inch and a half. Thank god b/c Madeline has been asking to make a snowman for about a month now. She was really excited and so was I.

Making a snowman The almost finished snowman ( the carrot wouldn't stay on) - but look how proud she isNot quite understanding how to make a snowangel

Debbie- recognize the snowsuit? It fits her perfectly

On a different note, tomorrow December 11th, we welcome a new member into our family. Charlotte, my new neice will be born, and we can't wait to meet her. Good luck!!

*waving hi* I'm still here !

Its been busy- and we've been sick. Madeline and I took turns with various annoying illnesses, but knock on wood, we are on the mend. The Rx for wintertime colds and REALLY really cold weather was lots and lots of staying inside... so we had to get creative. Well, I had to get creative . I decided to make snowman cookies with Chef Maddie W. Cat
As Maddie would say " How'm I look?".Putting the 'finkles' on was her favorite part. Of course she opened the top and I had 9,000 tiny balls all over my kitchen floor, but she was happy. She had fun eating the cookies too!

OK... finally.. Florida!

Here are some shot s that make me smile... in no particular order.

Like any child in the Happiest Place on Earth, Madeline was quite content to stay in the room and play with the phone. It occured to me she's never really seen a phone with buttons like this. We have a cordless, little phone- but mostly we use our cell phones- so I guess I could see how this would be interesting to her.

I'm still here

MAddie is not really napping anymore, and I am trying to spend less time sitting on my duff ( Gma Dore), so I haven't been on much. I have 1135 pictures from Dsiney and Florida- yes you read that right. So many photo ops. I'll come back soon and update :)

no words

Last night a 'friend' of mine watched her son take his last labored breath. I use quotes because she is a friend from my Mothers Board, an online community of people I've never met in person- but with whom I speak just about everyday. To say she is an aquantence of mine does not explain the tears, the consuming thoughts I've had all day " what is she going through? what must she be feeling?'
Her son Jack was 2. He had been born with a heart disease. He had surgery in June from which he never really recovered. Sure, he came home, but his quality of life was terrible. I guess thats why its getting to me so much. I saw her write almost daily " Jacks' not eating" ' Jack is scared" " Jack is tired and wants to be carried everywhere" So while some people are comforted by " Hes not suffereing anymore" and I know logically he's not, I feel like he and his family suffered all summer and into the fall. Its just not fair.
Hug your little ones, and old ones today, and thank god for the health of your family.

OK- Here Are Some Pumpkins

To make up for the Pumpkin post with no pumpkins... I took her to a local nursery yesterday, which was great, no one there!

They had a huge scale there to weigh your pumpkins. I weighed Maddie( no scale in this house- I had no idea how much she weighed) Drumroll please... 36 lbs. Huh? Thats IT?!? It certainly feels like a lot more- I guess b/c when you pick her up she does absolutely nothing to help you.

Playing the Pumpkin Drums...

Any Tips?

If anyone has any tips/ideas about HOW to get Madeline to nap in her bed, I'd appreciate them. She has not napped in her bed( or crib before that) in about 2 months. I am TIRED of driving her around. Its a waste of time , gas and money , as I ususally end up driving to a place where I spend money ( like target). At this point, Madeline knows this is just a game... the whole 'me reading to her, giving her a drink,reading more ,turning on her music, laying on the floor , hoping she'll fall asleep' thing- well, its just not working. Its not the bed, like I said, she was doing this in her crib for a while, and she sleeps in her bed just fine at night. So please any tips... I'll take 'em!

Pumpkin Picking

You'll notice, despite the title of this post, there are not pictures of actual pumpkins. Nor did Madeline get within 100 feet of a pumpkin. Thats because we never made it to the pumpkin patch. Madeline feel in love with the trains( both a wooden one to climb on , and a miniature one that ran through the woods).

Saying 'hi' to the trainsOinking at the pigs. These pigs were so loud, smelly and gross. I don't care who says they are actually clean animals, those things are nasty. Look at Maddie's cute little oinking face, though
Sunday, Maddie's cousins came over. She was excited( or as she says "exciting' ) to show them her new bedI love the next two pictures. Maddie was laughing b/c Samantha's hair was tickling her. The second shot, my flash didn't go off. So I played around with it a bit, upped the exposure and made it black and white. I wish it had come out better, b/c I love both of their expressions :)

The Big Girl Bed

As I write this, Madeline is taking her very first nap in her big girl bed. The first day, the bed was still too 'new'. I left her in the room to see if she would calm down... went to the garage to put something away... and in she walks to the kitchen.

"Hi Mommy" she said, waving," I still up"

Knock on wood its been going OK at night. She's still waking up early, wanting to come into our bed- but she was doing that before as well. She looks like a little peanut in the big bed, all by herself, all scrunched up in one corner( of course by the edge of the bed)

The cousins ( Samantha and Emma) came over yesterday and she was so excited to show them .

Here's some pictures... at first she 's not sure

Then she feels better about the whole thing...